Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
