Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
