the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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