Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
