We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
