My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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