when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
