so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
