I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
