we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
