Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
