my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
