And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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