It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
