I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
