So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
