it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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