If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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