So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize