It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorry my hands just texted you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
