Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
