just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
