I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
