woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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