She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
