Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
