so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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