Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
