You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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