yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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