Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
