I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
