The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
