I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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