sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
