let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
