My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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