please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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