hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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