Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
