Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
