i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
