I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
