I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
