I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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