Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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