Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You took a bar mat shot.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
