I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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