Don't you send me to vm
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
