I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
