That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
