I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
